4 Signs That Says You Have A Bad Negative Attitude Problem



I Have A Bad Attitude

May 24, 2008

Yesterday, I was at Panera, using their free wi-fi to catch up on yummy celebrity gossip during my lunch hour.Directly beside me was this adorable little boy, probably 2 years old, who looked like he jumped out of my husband's baby photo album.Blonde hair, blue eyes, happy.He made me unbearably sad.

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It seems like it should've been one of those moments when I would think – that's it.This is worth it.It will work, and it will be worth it.

But instead, all I could see was failure.That won't be us, ever.We won't ever be enjoying lunch at Panera as a family, beyond the two-person family we are today.It made me angry.

I'm having a hard time being positive through this IVF cycle.I don't believe, in my black, rotten little heart that it (or anything we try) will work.I'm tired of driving to all of the monitoring appointments.Giving myself the shots makes me bitter, which isn't good because I have bruised belly to prove that I'm a bit too aggressive with the Follistim Pen.I have a rotten attitude, and need to be sent to the bad girl corner while I think about why I am being so pathetically bratty.

There are many things about infertility that I find to be infuriating.

The flicker of monthly hope that inevitably gets crushed.

The halt of your life while watching the lives of others around you surge ahead.

The expenses, the hormones, the crazy, the guilt, the resentment, the jealousy, the failure, the isolation.

So many annoying things about wanting a baby and not being able to have one.

For me, the worst part is the lack of answers. The uncertainty.Why is morphology a problem for us?How can we fix it?Why didn't our IVF work?Will we ever have children?

The answer to all of these questions:We don't know.






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Date: 06.12.2018, 16:11 / Views: 74574